Ocean Threats

OurFootprintJA

By Jordaina Denton

“Water and air, the two essential fluids on which all life depends, have become global garbage cans” – Jacques Cousteau. The ocean is one of the world’s greatest mysteries; so much is known, yet so much more is left to be discovered. It is home to various forms of life, many of which we know very little about, a vessel of mystery and wonder – entire habitats of the unseen and undiscovered.

Across the globe, the health of this majestic body has been severely compromised due to human activity. The boundless insensitivity of man has left the ocean in despair, threatening all that relies on it – life itself. 

What is happening?

As the world evolves, soaring to new heights with advancements in healthcare and technology, the ocean is simultaneously being attacked to an unprecedented degree. The ocean has been threatened in various ways primarily due to…

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Wandering in the Universe

I’m actually wondering a lot as I wander…

What is fate? Why so many twists and turns on our journies?

Are we reincarnated beings? Do we suffer the sins of our fathers?

Or is it all just coincidence?

As the calendar runs out of days… I am yet again tested…

And it makes me wonder if I had otherwise wandered.. what would I now be wondering?

A mended glass will always show the broken lines yet a broken bone will heal stronger. We tell our own narratives… and perspective is a heck of a thing!

The past is a lesson that cannot be unlearned but sometimes the essence gets lost in the details. Embrace the pain, own up the shortcomings, become better but do not lose yourself in the past, else you’ll never be present. We all want to be the heroes in our own stories, but sometimes we are really the ones in need of saving… and admitting that requires more strength.

I pray to the heavens and beseech the universe that in pursuit of my personal legend I can protect mine and keep them safe so they can reach their personal legends.

Releasing positive energy!

~Maktub

Lessons from an 18-month old

“Out of the mouth of babes”

… a literary saying that captures a nugget of wisdom from a child, somewhat surprising because it seems beyond their age.

But even before they can talk, there are lessons that can be learned from these toddlers. I enjoy spending as much time as I can with my little one, and watching her grow and learn new things. In observing her behavior, I’ve picked up on certain attitudes that you might consider reaching but I wonder if these behaviors of a purer nature were somehow lost along the way.

I guess foremost would be the dropping of things that no longer pleases her. The toy was entertaining but not so much after the 5th go, **drops it to floor**.

I think as adults, myself at least, have a hard time letting go of things that no longer serve their purpose. I’m not a hoarder but I haven’t thrown out that tea cup that I no longer use, and it just occupies cupboard space.

Last year, mango was my favorite fruit but then it went out of season. Do not give me mango this year, I will not eat it.

This might be far fetched but could this be her form of rewarding consistency or loyalty even? Or is it saying it is okay to have new favorites? Right now her favorite fruit can be gotten year round, but it is not as sumptuous as a ripe mango but that means nothing to her.

I am tired. I am going to sleep.

I don’t know why as adults we glorify getting as little sleep as possible. Look! Here I am writing a post when I clearly should be sleeping so I can adequately rest for work in the morning.

Pushes button. Turns device. Squeezes button. Shakes entire apparatus. Puts device face level. Drops device to floor. Stands on device. Takes device off floor. Pushes another button. Knocks device against chair. Tastes device.

How hard do we work towards things we want to achieve? How often do we allow failure to prevent us from succeeding? Do we understand what it takes to learn and master something? Have we approached the problem from a different angle? Do we keep trying or do we give up? Babies are tenacious little humans, they just keep falling until they walk.

Consider I am writing about lessons, I think I’ll heed the lesson on sleep.

Work safe. Live well.

Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz

A brighter page from my recent Youtube journey with scenes from HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother).

I do not own any rights to the video or its content.

LebenslangerschicksalsschatzGoogle translation.. Lifelong fate

I think the video gives a more wholesome translation.

Have you ever gotten asked by your significant other, “What do you like/love about me?”

Yup.. me too.

I can always give a truthful answer that says a lot but I always feel it’s incomplete, the words just never ever adequately describe how I feel about my wife. I kid you not, I knew she was the one before even meeting her in person… it just clicked.. it just felt right…

I guess it’s easier to describe in German than English (haha).

To my wife: I love you always… and forever. It’s Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz (pardon my German).

Triggers from the Internet

So recently (like literally yesterday), I was browsing through Youtube’s endless catalogue and I came across scenes from HIMYM (don’t know the acronym?). It was one of my favourite TV shows, How I Met Your Mother.

Unbeknownst to me, they would trigger such strong emotions. There will be a second blog post capturing the happier emotions (I think it’s better to finish on a high). I can’t say the episodes came to memory when real life was happening, and the episodes definitely aired before I had similar experiences.

I own no rights to the video or its content.

I can still remember talking to my mom on the phone and she telling me his employer said he had a heart attack and didn’t make it. Even with all the details revealed some 3 years later, it’s still disbelief (and anger, and pain, and whole lot more). Marshall’s monologue at the funeral echoed so many of my own. I remember going through all my previous messages and numerous missed calls (couldn’t answer his calls at work when he called)… searching futilely for a voice-note or voicemail; something to listen to, something more to hold on to. I tried so hard to cement our last conversations into my brain, and archived our last chat… a constant reminder that his last words to me were always… “love always”.

I didn’t even remember this scene until yesterday but I’ve watched it at least a dozen times. My emotions peak each time. He never got to see our wedding, or to meet his grand-daughter or be there more… and I get the memories. I cherish those memories (though they make me so happy and sad all together), and try to emulate the good father he was.

Love you always dad.

~Maktub

3 Years…

It’s hard to think about all that’s changed in the last 3 years since you’ve been gone. It’s crazy really, all the things I would’ve loved for you to see, to counsel, to visit, to love…

A marriage to an amazing woman

A home filled love

A new life that is at the centre of the universe with an aura so pure and amazing. You would love her so much. I’ll be for her everything you were for me. One day she’ll hear all about you.

It’s been challenging … but we’ve done a lot.. your team.. we all carry you with us…

I wish everything was great, I wish I could say some things are going to be better. I wish I could say everyone spoke lovingly of you. I wish everyone would just reveal their motives rather than shroud it in the pretence of love. But such is not the life that you departed. Feuds and animosity are rampant. Decisions had to be made. Changes implemented. Some days it seems harder to keep my last promise to you… but I try.

Sometimes I think how the physical reward of your hard work has brought about so much contention. I can’t believe how much entitlement exists. It grieves me to think how you didn’t get to enjoy it for longer but at this rate I doubt anyone truly will ever enjoy it again but I will forever treasure the memories.

Sometimes I want the world to know how great you were, you know memorialize you. But that’d be selfish of me because we are all temporal before we transcend, and quite frankly, the world just isn’t that deserving for you to be shared like that and the omens revealed that to me.

Your life taught me a lot but so too your death.

It took me until 2020, to even learn of some the battles you fought. The courage it takes to choose yourself. I am still finding more reasons to respect you, even after all this time. I’ve already chosen to emulate, simply because life is too short to make ‘inconsequentials’ rob my family of peace and joy. I am happy that I learned early on that family is not defined by blood, and love is not defined by gifts.

I love you. I miss you. Thanks for everything. I hope you have a great garden tending to…

Sleep good dad.

~Maktub

2019…

The greatest thing I’ll ever know, the fruit of love… the birth of my daughter happened 9/9/19. It has been a great year!

It has been a hard year, but I’ve come to understand that even in the greatest of masterpieces, there will always be varying small portions of it that speaks louder to different individuals. And while the grande image is breath-taking, it’s often the technique of the brush strokes that tells the story.

So yea, it was a hard year but there aren’t any easy years. And in this hard year, my wife and I were blessed with the gift of new life. Our energies created new energy, and the physicists will be saying that’s incorrect and the Law of Conservation of Energy and blah blah… but hey, we did it. She is right here, looking at me type, her fists clenched, her essence absorbing this world as she drifts asleep (11:29 p.m.). I often wonder what goes through her mind (and don’t you think it’s a tiny mind, her possibilities transcend her tiny body), I hope she gets the BEST in this life and the ones after.

We achieved a lot, we loved a lot, we learned a lot, we excelled professionally. Hey, we bought her first apartment, so let’s tick that homeownership box. Lots of new gadgets buzzing around said home too. Sounds all good, right? IT IS... believe me, blessings on blessings on blessings. So why am I saying it’s a hard year?

2019 has taught me that ugliness exists in beauty. I let down myself and the person dearest to me numerous times this year. I was also edified about how we are all continuously learning about ourselves. We aren’t static beings, and sometimes what we discover about ourselves is truly disappointing. I hope to take my lessons and improve myself going forward. I have to do better if I’m to expect better from those around me.

My little girl has fallen asleep already (11:50 p.m), her bib in hand, nibbling on her pacifier (**breaks to put her in her crib).

In 2019, I was reminded of the cruelty that mankind is capable of, especially cruelty committed by those who are close to you, your family. It’s been two years since losing my dad, and it is a wound that stings but more so when others pour salt in it. A lot of the things I did to honor his memory and carry on his wishes were brought to naught this year. I’ve made a conscious decision to distance myself from projects I believe he would’ve wanted me to carry on and it hurts but that decision is unmistakenly for the best at current. I visited his grave a lot less this year and had fewer conversations there, but I was able to have a respectable tombing and headstone done for him during the summer. The last I saw, a lot of weeds had taken over and the tears that formed were dried by the anger because of the ignominy (thank you dictionary.com) that has caused further schisms in my family.

No one’s perfect, and my family isn’t and has never been, not when dad was alive or even granddad, but… I grew up with a strong sense of FAMILY and that same family has now ill-treated and shunned its members and me, being Switzerland, am angry. I don’t know to mend these divides nor am I trying to any longer. I do know, if he were here, then none of this would be happening. As Jamaican, as it is, I know my dad is turning in his grave and is probably not proud of the passive approach I am taking. I have one parent alive, and I will do right by my mom, she has never done anything short of spectacular for me, my wife and now her grandbaby.

2019 has been a great year, I am so blessed my best friend caught the ball when I dropped it and it’s beyond words how she did it all whilst being pregnant. And I hope I can use my life-time to continually reassure her and uplift her and thank her for the blessing that she is.

We are looking forward to an amazing 2020. A lot of goals, plans, dreams, wishes, hopes… and we’re preparing for a hard year. We know there will be disappointments, curveballs, periods of grey, and none of that will dissuade us because there will be love, successes, joys, lessons, and rewards. We are painting our masterpiece, and each stroke of the brush tells a story.

From me here — to you, out there, I wish you all the best… and friend, try your utmost to protect your energy.

~Maktub

The Colour of Love

Happy Emancipation Day Jamaica!! (and Barbados and Trinidad and Tobago).

I wanted to do something on July 23 but all the universe wanted was for me to go to work. Happy 5th (first) anniversary to my darling wife (not our wedding anniversary).

I wanted to write on July 29, to commemorate one year since burying my dad but the words never came. I thought about it a lot though. I am happy I got to go home on July 6, to be with the entirety of my closest.

Sitting down on this fine summer’s eve listening to Alina Baraz’s EP “The Color of You”, just a chill session to beat the summer heat ( I really recommend a listen >> Color of You EP <<)

So thinking about the title of this EP, I realize memories are in different colours. I was not very cognizant of this or better yet I am no longer the person who interprets scenarios in colours and shapes.

I think about my wife and our memories together, they are all in brilliant, vivid colours, I can feel the warmth recalling them.

I think about times with my dad, they’re almost all in grayscale but contrary to what you’d expect, I can also feel the warmth of them. I am not sure if memories were always like this. Is my subconscious changing the themes of the memories to account for the real-life changes?

What colours do you see when you think of someone you love?

What is the colour of love?

Don’t be concerned with the dual spelling of color/ colour, I’m Jamaican we use the UK spelling. Be Blessed.

~Maktub.

 

 

 

Happy Father’s Day

Think the universe was expecting an epistle last Sunday, I had been thinking about it for some time before but to what ends? I always wondered the purpose of posting a picture saying Happy Father’s Day or Happy Mother’s Day on social media if either doesn’t see. Is it to advertise you have one? Is it so your following is aware that you acknowledge the day and your parent? Is it a public testament to love? Is it one of those actions speak louder than words thing? Maybe it’s all or one of the above, maybe none. Maybe I’ll just follow suit,

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Hmmm, I guess the day was mostly lost on me, no earthly father to tell, nor am I yet one. I would, however, like to share what did mean much to me that day, the words of a good friend, Gilly,

 

Happy Father’s Day for all the Fathers who couldn’t be here today. May their souls rest in peace and the rest of us find peace

~Maktub